My Success Story

Far From Legible Handwriting

   
     Two years ago, when my son started attending Primary One, his teacher often commented that his handwriting was far from legible and he seemed to be restless after recess. I have never suspected his intelligence and I definitely do not think that tuition is what he needs to excel. I knew that something had to be done without delay but had not the slightest idea where to start.

     I was very fortunate to meet a friend who recommended me Brainfit Studio when I was searching for the right solution. After doing the Cognitive Map, I was given a detailed analysis of the report. True enough, my son has an above average IQ and what seems to be hindering his performance is his sensory issues. With this Cognitive Map, everything seems to make sense now-- why he cannot write neatly on the line with good spacing, why he cannot even catch a ball thrown over a short distance when his friends are already scoring goals in soccer or basketball, why he cannot stay focus throughout school and do well with the gift of high IQ.

     A 40 sessions of Smart Move and 20 sessions of Smart Vision 1-1 program was recommended by Brainfit Studio. Smart Moves resembles Occupational Therapy and Smart Vision is really an eye-opener for me, as I have never known that these exercises can help a child to do better . For best results, do not just depend on the centre. Parents are advised to continue helping their children to 'exercise' their brain at home. After each session, the instructor will explain the various activities done and instruct the parents to continue the exercises at home.The instructor will always be so ready and patient to answer and explain my queries and doubts. Through the program, not only my son has benefited, I, too, got a better understanding of why children have learning difficulties when nothing, on the surface, seems wrong with them.  It is really amazing to know how 'the brain works', how 'it could be elastic' and how we can 'keep our brain fit' in order for it to function efficiently.

WOW!!

      

     At the end of the program, I would definitely say that I got my time, effort and money's worth. There is a vast improvement in my son's fine motor skill, which means that there is no more complaint from teachers about his handwriting and he can even write Chinese characters at ease now. As such, there is also less avoidance and tantrums over written work. 

Such Worksheet Use To End Up In A Mess

     With better functioning vestibular and proprioceptive systems, his teachers are glad that he can now sit through attentively in class. Now, he is willing to and enjoys taking part in PE activities because with better spatial and body awareness, he no longer sees himself as a clumsy and incapable boy who cannot play in games that his peer could. With better motor planning skill, now he does not dodge from a ball as if it is a water bomb, but is able to catch it with a good grip. The greatest achievement was the moment when he and his team won the gold medal for an event called 'Jump Rope' during Games Day. I was really amazed that he was able to skip with a skipping rope towards the finishing line without stumbling!

The Day He Felt So Proud Of Himself

     All in all, he has shown satisfactory improvement in all areas and this has definitely boosted up his self-confidence and self-esteem. Better eye-contact and self-regulation skills are unexpected added bonus. I will not say that he is a perfect boy now because nobody is perfect. I am just thankful for every little progress he makes, step by step, day by day. Bringing up a child with special needs ( I guess you may have suspected... YES... he has autism) is definitely tougher than a typical child. It is long and psychological draining journey but I am glad that I have met many people--close family members and relatives, friends and teachers , including instructors from Brainfit Studio, who have helped to make this journey an easier and brighter one !

His First Poem

Never Assume

The Day We Cried Together

Son refused to do his Chinese homework. It was a piece of 'boring' assignment for him, I would agree... just write repeatedly the same words. But no choice, still have to do it, isn't it? He wrote with his most horrible handwriting and then started to doodle nonsense. When I started erasing his work , he threw a tantrum and started shouting.

" Get out of here!!" he yelled . I was boiling mad already but of course , I had to admit that I wasn't in a good mood too on that day (having a cold war with my other half, shucks!! ) I could not contain my anger and tears were welling up in my eyes. I opened the door and got out of the house..and just sat outside, hoping to calm myself down.

I could hear my mother trying to get him do his work at home , patiently. Then the tantrum stopped. There was silence in the house and then I don't know why he closed the door behind me!

Soon, it was almost time to get ready for school. I had to go back home, like it or not, even though , I was hoping that he would say sorry instead of closing the door.

I went back to my room and then started crying uncontrollably. Son came in to say sorry to me, obviously after being prompted by my mother. I was too upset to say anything initially... then I started bursting out , questioning him why he had treated me so badly , in between sobs. Of course, I don't think at that moment he could understand what I mean.

"Mummy loves you so much but why do you do that to me? Is that how you show me you love me?" I cried. I guess I was just trying to vent my frustration and sorrow at that moment... I knew he would not really know what I was talking about. It's just that after putting in so much effort , what you get is a big slam on the heart, you just could not take it... you just have to cry it out.

Seeing me crying so badly, Son started crying too.. then we hugged each other and cried together. Oh boy!! That was the first time I really could not control myself and cry in front of him! I knew it is not solely his fault, he does has his special needs and I have to keep my sane and be strong... but I am still a HUMAN , vulnerable to emotional stress.

It is a challenge given to me and I have to accept it .

Son, let's work together, hand in hand, heart to heart.... I am sure we will make it.... even though I know this will not be the last time I will cry.

You have to be patient and Mum has to be too.

How To Improve Your Balancing Skill

How to improve your balancing skill?....... By walking on the long table in the school canteen !!!

That's my 'clever' boy's 'trick' again.

SHOCKING... but then not surprising too.... because he is just so 'unpredictable' and always 'giving us surprises now and then' ( quote from his dear form teacher).

I suspected that it was due to the daily 'balancing' practice that I was doing with him in the exercise area in the neighbourhood. The occupational therapist says that he lacks balance, so I got him to practice on the balance beam. But obviously he has overdone it, and he did it , too, on the table!

True enough, nobody can understand their kids more than the mums themselves... he told me that he was practicing his balancing skill.

Can't punish him for that, can I? I had to tell him that wasn't the right way and it should not happen again. So, that was the first and also the last time he did it. ( I hope!)

Anyway, he is 'full of surprises'. Something done the second time, won't be a surprise anymore.... so.... there will be more surprises coming! (I hope NOT!!)

An Emotional Moment

I just realised that I could see Son walking along the corridor of the hall from outside the fence of the school.

The next day, before sending him into school, I reminded him that Mummy would be standing outside his school, at a position where we could see each other from the outside of the hall. I told him that if he sees me waving at him, wave to me .

In a few minutes' time , there, I saw my boy making his way to the hall, then he stopped. He waved to me , and I waved back too, happily. Then after a few more steps , he waved at me again... I waved back to him again, too, only this time with a lump in my throat and tears welling up in my eyes. It was truly an emotional moment for me as I recalled the journey I , or rather we, had went through so far.... together... From the time he could speak no words, could not express himself but to throw a big tantrum, to a boy who successfully made his way to the mainstream and the best class, no one could understand the pain , frustration and anger we had suffered and tears we had both shed , unless they are also parents of special kids.

I know that this is not the end but another new beginning . There will be more challenges ahead and I know too that I have to move on bravely and steadily, even though I may still be unable to hold back my tears , sometimes.

All these, for the sake of my dearest Son.

The Guinea Pin(g)

My Son is indeed 'popular' or is he such a 'mysterious' person that everyone is 'using' him as a 'guinea pig' ?

It so happened that 3 polytechnic students ( occupational therapist and special needs) were attached to his primary school for internship. So he gets a lot of attention from these students and I get more information regarding his weaknesses and what type of help I can give him at home.

Then the lecturer of these students is also on course and needs to get some kids for sensory assessment to complete her course. So again my dear Son is chosen. It is an interesting assessment , so much so that I myself begin to get rather interested in this area. Maybe I should take up some courses on OT , if I have the time and energy of course!

His ex-teacher from Eipic has also chosen him as a case study for a course she is taking, so she will also be keeping track of Son's progress in school.

Some parents might not want their kids to be chosen for such purposes because they do not want their kids to be too 'transparent' or perhaps creating unnecessary suspicion from classmates when they keep seeing so many people around their sons.

I feel that this is really a win-win situation. They get to complete their course and I get to learn more too , and in turn better equipped to help Son. Why not?

So, it's okay to be a (cute and popular) guinea pig(n), my Son..it is a blessing in disguise for us.

Is He Too Stressed?

It was a Friday and school starts at 7.15am every Friday.

At dismissal time, he was led out by the Chinese teacher, because the last hour was Mother Tongue. The teacher told me that he refused to hand in his Spelling for checking of parent's signature. He just shouted and threw a tantrum.

When I tried to ask him what the problem was , again he kicked a big fuss outside the school. I found the Spelling worksheet in his bag, but when I wanted to hand it to the teacher, she had already left... there he went again.. screaming and shouting !

Half way back home, I asked him why was it so difficult just to take a piece of paper out and hand it in... he started having a meltdown.... he started screaming and hitting me.. till my glasses almost fell and twisted. I was fuming in rage! Everyone was staring at us. I had to stop his tantrum , made him say sorry , calm him (and myself) down before continuing our way home. We were "stuck " there for almost half an hour!

That day , I found out that he also refused to hand in some worksheets to his English Form teacher. But because he knew that Son would have the tendency of throwing a tantrum, he did not insist , and so the meltdown was avoided.

I was really boiling mad at the moment when he hit me.. I was just asking him "nicely" and "patiently" what happened and there he was.. hitting his Mum right in front of so many other people.

But when I sat down at night and thought back calmly , have I been at that moment "interrogating" him too much? He already had a tiring day, waking up at 6.30am, having to sit down and concentrate throughout the 6 hours. He was already trying very hard... after all he does have his "blue" days on and off , due to his asd.

Perhaps it is a lesson to be learnt for me. I should have sensed that he was already very stressed , especially sitting through Mother Tongue class for the last hour. Questioning further after school was simply too much for him to take. He was just like an overblown balloon , stressing him further made him burst instantaneously. I should have been more sensitive to his emotion and need.

Son... Mum knows you are already doing very well, much better than I have expected.

Please keep it up and I will always be there for you, supporting you , loving you.