The Day We Cried Together

Son refused to do his Chinese homework. It was a piece of 'boring' assignment for him, I would agree... just write repeatedly the same words. But no choice, still have to do it, isn't it? He wrote with his most horrible handwriting and then started to doodle nonsense. When I started erasing his work , he threw a tantrum and started shouting.

" Get out of here!!" he yelled . I was boiling mad already but of course , I had to admit that I wasn't in a good mood too on that day (having a cold war with my other half, shucks!! ) I could not contain my anger and tears were welling up in my eyes. I opened the door and got out of the house..and just sat outside, hoping to calm myself down.

I could hear my mother trying to get him do his work at home , patiently. Then the tantrum stopped. There was silence in the house and then I don't know why he closed the door behind me!

Soon, it was almost time to get ready for school. I had to go back home, like it or not, even though , I was hoping that he would say sorry instead of closing the door.

I went back to my room and then started crying uncontrollably. Son came in to say sorry to me, obviously after being prompted by my mother. I was too upset to say anything initially... then I started bursting out , questioning him why he had treated me so badly , in between sobs. Of course, I don't think at that moment he could understand what I mean.

"Mummy loves you so much but why do you do that to me? Is that how you show me you love me?" I cried. I guess I was just trying to vent my frustration and sorrow at that moment... I knew he would not really know what I was talking about. It's just that after putting in so much effort , what you get is a big slam on the heart, you just could not take it... you just have to cry it out.

Seeing me crying so badly, Son started crying too.. then we hugged each other and cried together. Oh boy!! That was the first time I really could not control myself and cry in front of him! I knew it is not solely his fault, he does has his special needs and I have to keep my sane and be strong... but I am still a HUMAN , vulnerable to emotional stress.

It is a challenge given to me and I have to accept it .

Son, let's work together, hand in hand, heart to heart.... I am sure we will make it.... even though I know this will not be the last time I will cry.

You have to be patient and Mum has to be too.