Just For Laughs : Young Or Old

One or two years back, when I asked Son ,"Is Neinei young or old?" His reply was "young". I guess that answer must have made Mum very happy. So at least she does not look like her age! She is definitely more fashionable than any other elderly, perhaps that is also why not many people offer her their seats on the bus or train.

"What about WaiGong?" I asked again.
"Old!" that was his immediate answer.

We had a good laugh. We know that he says truthfully what he sees and he does not know how to tell a lie. Poor Pa! He has to accept the fact that he does look very much older than Mother although their age difference is only two years.

Today, I ask Son the same question. Surprising he says that NeiNei is old. Perhaps now that he is older, his concept of "Grandmother" is "old lady", because to me Mother always looks so good , for her age. I hope she is not too upset with the answer, though!

So I ask him the other question too ,"What about WaiGong?"

"Very very old!" he replied , in his usual truthful tone.

Laugh!! Everyone was so tickled and surprised by his answer, even Pa . I hope he is not too upset with the answer, too!!

His words of truth always never fail to amaze and make us laugh.

But being so direct is also what I fear most when he is with others, who fail to see and understand the lack of social and communication skills of autistic people. I hope he will not offend others and get himself into trouble when he grows older.... because family members can laugh but not others!!

It's Not What I Want But It Works

I did not want to buy my son a psp or nintendo just like some parents , who believe that these are things that get their children 'addicted' and refuse to do other work. But after the disastrous outing, I thought I seriously need to get something to occupy my son when we are out and he could not wait. A nintendo was my last resort.... otherwise I think I will go crazy each time I have to take him out.

Well, it does prove that it works! Now we could have a good meal outside, and I could eat slowly..since he can play his game after he has finished his food.

The nintendo also serves as a reward for any good behaviour. So I guess it is money worth. One thing I did remind him is that Nintendo is mainly for 'taking out to play'. I don't want him to spend too much time playing games since he already has more than an hour computer time everyday.

So nowadays, 'NEVER LEAVE HOME WITHOUT IT ( the Nintendo)' when I have to take Son out.

Are You Pulling My Legs

Almost everyday Son has to do some work, not that I am a KS parent, but it is more to get him use to doing homework, as we all know how academic-oriented is Singapore's education system.

Today when I gave him some homework , usually a bit of Maths, English, Chinese and science, he made this comment," Are you pulling my legs?" I was quite surprise that he could use idioms! Does he really know the meaning of the phrase? I asked him and he bent down to 'pull my legs'. Then I asked him where he learnt the phrase, and he said from a book.

Don't ever underestimate your special child. Some people say autistic children tend to take words literally and do not understand the real meaning. Wow! Mine can even use idioms.

These days , he has been saying a lot of "what -the ...". I think he must have pick it up from the tv or online games. I think he is at the age of "fun to imitate'. I guess I have to be careful too that he does not pick up any bad words.

A Diastrous Outing

Dad bought a family package to Singapore Garden Festival on Sunday. He said it was a surprise for us. Ya! A big surprise ! You can say that again! I had doubts if he would enjoy such an exhibition.

Sure enough..... the diaster happened right from the beginning when we entered the horrible carpark. It was full and Son always does not like it when we cannot find a parking lot. He had his first meltdown and ended when we decided to get to the convention centre first while dad tried to find a lot.

Second meltdown...... the food court was crazily packed and we could not find a place to sit down. Son was screaming away and I almost wanted to do the same too! Frankly speaking, I cannot stand crowd too. I will feel very pressurise and then my giddiness and breathlessness will come.

We finally got a table when a group of senior citizens left... must have been scared orr by son's scream. By that time , my face had turned long and black. I was grumbling and cursing away and Dad was angry too that no one appreciates his 'thoughtfulness' . Oh come on! Doesn't he know his son? This is definitely the wrong place and the wrong time to come.

So we went into the exhibition hall , hardly see anything, and then Son saw the exit . That's it. A ticket to go in and come out straight. Dad and Daughter stayed in the hall... ah but then ... waste two tickets is better than four. I had a hard time entertaining him for the next hour or two. I was getting tired and it was my turn to have a meltdown. I summoned the two, who apparently were having a good time, to get out of the exhibition at once ! I could feel the fire in my body.... boiling mad was I.

It was a relief for both my son and myself to be home! My dear Dad, can you please give me a better surprise next time? I love surprises..... even though you seldom give me one... but this time it is really a bad one. USE YOUR BRAIN NEXT TIME..... PLEASE (sorry for my rudeness)

Surprise Surprise

I was outside son's school waiting for him to come out. He came out with another boy in the play group. I think he is only about two and Teacher Esther was holding his hand. I was very surprised to see that Son was actually looking at the little boy and was I think trying to hold his hand. He has never been so interested in other people before. He usually stands , sometimes too close , besides a person because he is interested in the object he is holding, like handphone or electronic games.
It is good to see him getting interested in people. It is a good start to a better social and communication skill .
I gave him a thumbs up and encourage him to be more friendly with his friends and try his best to help the younger kids in school.

To Be Or Not To Be

Yesterday , Son came out of school and told me that he snatched his friend's book and tore a page. He rarely shares things that happen in school with me, even if I try so hard to get something out of him. So should I be happy that he is beginning to tell me things that happen in school? But hopefully today he will tell me that he has done something good instead of naughty!
Still, I have to tell him that I am not happy that he has done a wrong deed. On the other hand, I praised him for owning up and encourage him to share with me more about happenings in school.

More Or Less

Today I was teaching Son "more than" maths questions.

I wrote on the whiteboard : " 5 is ____ more than 3 " .
He can't really get what it means, so I drew a diagram to show him that 5 is actually 2 more than 3. He , then, took the marker from me and wrote down on the whiteboard : " 3 is _____ less than 5 " . He told me that the answer to his question is the same as mine.

I was truly amazed for 2 reasons .

First, he has never wrote down a 'sentence' ,so willingly, all by himself before. His penmanship is really not too good so he never like writing, especially long sentences.

Second, he can get the idea that the two statements are actually related. How clever of him, I thought.

Kids, really do amaze their parents at times!

Dental Visit

I can't remember when was the last time I've seen a dentist, probably in Secondary school. The hole in my tooth had been there for quite some time. I kept my finger crossed that nothing serious would happen , but getting food particles inside could be annoying. I had to use the toothpick after every meal.

The nightmare finally came a month ago. There was a sudden pain on my left jaw that affected the whole of my left head. My left side was so painful that I could hardly sleep. Okay , the time had come. I had to go to the dentist, scared or not. The dentist was shocked that I had not been to a dentist. More embarrassing , he said my teeth were too dirty and had to be cleaned before dealing with the hole. And so all the cleaning and filling up the hole took only 20 mins. Not that bad, no pain. BUT.... the cost ...... $140......pain in the heart!

All went well until a week later, the same pain came again.. on the left side again. Thinking that the filling was giving the problem, I went back for a checkup, hoping that no charges would be made. Boy, was I wrong! It was another nightmare in the dental clinic . I couldn't believe it myself, two visits within a week, when I have not stepped into one for the past twenty odd years! The dentist said it was my wisdom tooth that's giving me problem. I had to take an x-ray, which cost money of course. It revealed that I had 4 wisdom teeth... ha... wise yah! And two had holes, the one giving problem was the one with a bigger hole. So what now? I was left with no choice but to extract it. The nightmare started when my left jaw had to be numbed. The sensation was horrible. Then came the pulling part. It was worse than I thought. It took almost one hour , then the dentist said I needed a surgery as the tooth had a third root still stuck in the gum. Do I have a choice? So I don't know what he did , what he sliced up. I almost wanted to tell him to forget about the root, I wanted to quit and go . After another hour of pulling ,twisting, changing of tools , whatever...., the stupid stubborn root was finally out! Phew! It's almost like having a baby! My mouth was so tired after trying to keep it open for so long. I couldn't wait to get out of the room. I don't want to think about the other wisdom teeth that I may have to extract too.

The next pain.... the cost.... $560!!! Luckily It could be paid using medisave. Wah.. no money how... die of pain? No wonder people say, poor people cannot get sick, but they can die!

I guess coming to forty years old, means a lot of health problem coming , too. I have to get prepared for more health problems . I have done my yearly paps smear. Now I have to check my teeth yearly , too. And I have yet to go for mammogram and blood test to check my glucose level . Sigh.... it's so good to be young!

Singapore Flyer

Thanks to gu gu's Friends of Singapore Flyer Card, I think our family will never go for a ride in the Singapore Flyer. So expensive!! We did not inform Son our destination that day , for fear that he would not go. He has expressed strongly against the idea of going up the Flyer. Anything too adventurous is not his cup of tea, though we try to coax him to just try new things.

Luckily, he did not throw tantrum when we arrived. Of course the main concern was first where's the lift. When we were queueing up and almost our turn, he did fuss a bit, saying he did not want to go in. However, he tagged along fortunately without screaming (thank God). During the half hour journey, he kept complaining that it was not moving, and asking when it would end.
He could not wait to go out from the door on the other side . (He was just amazed that there are two doors on each carriage!)
So to distract him, I had to continuous talk to him about the things we saw. Finally when we reached the ground , he could not wait to drag everyone out , from the other door of course!

It was a good experience.

The next challenge is to get him to go for a boat ride! He screamed the last time we went to Clarke Quay , with the intention of taking the taxi boat.

Tooth Fairy

Today, Son received his second gold coin from Tooth Fairy. Yesterday he managed to shake his tooth out in class. That was the first thing he told me excitedly when he came out of class. It is always great to hear him tell me something that happened in class. Teacher V wrapped it up in a piece of paper so that he could put it under his pillow at night.

The first tooth was lost somewhere during school hours. Luckily he did not cry about the lost tooth, initially. It was only at night when he realised he had to put his tooth under his pillow so that tooth fairy would come, he started crying. I tried to persuade him that Tooth Fairy had already taken the lost tooth in the day and would come and give him a gold coin at night. Fortunately, he accepted it and went to sleep. And of course everything went well when he found his gold coin the next morning.

For the past few years, Tooth Fairy has stopped coming to our house. I guess she will have to start working again. Ha! This time she has to do a better job because for Daughter, she may sometimes forgot to do her job. It was easy to give Daughter a tall tale that Tooth Fairy was on holiday blah blah blah..... she naively believed and waited patiently for the next night for her to come.

Kids are just kids. Naive, never have to hide their feelings, trouble-free. They make you angry but they also make you laugh :) How nice if they can always remain kids ! How nice if I could be a kid again, too!

Just For Laugh - Kid's Talk

A Christian came to our house and gave us a pamplet with a heading " Your Ticket To Heaven". I thought it was quite "amusing", sorry ...... I am more towards Buddhism even though I am not a Buddhist yet.



I showed it to Daughter. First she gave me a frown and a puzzled look. When it dawned upon her what it was, she gave me a tilted smile and cheekily told me if she could change the word 'heaven' to 'resort'. Ha Ha ! That's my girl. A typical happy-go-lucky coming-to-thirteen-year-old girl who just loves fun and play!



I showed it to Son. He read the title and gave a puzzled look too. Then , hanging his head low, he used his usual very-Eeyore-tone and muttered, " u...u..m..m....m.... I don't want to go now.. I want to stay at home." I let out another laugh. He's a typical can't-really-understand-joke-yet and no-lie, black means black white means white boy!

Story Telling In The Library

Today I was exceptionally tired, but I had told myself that I was going to take Son to a story telling session in the library. So we did make a trip to the library and I'm glad I went even though I was feeling groggy and couldn't help yawning every minute.

Initially, he wasn't very keen. He was more interested in the projector in the room. I had him sitting on my lap . I had to hold him tight so that he wouldn't dash out of the room or what not! I certainly do not want other parents to stare at me if he did create a racket. He did fidgets a little , on and off, but it was within my control. He said he wanted to go but with constant coaxing and getting him interested in the stories , he soon showed some interest. The last story ' Hello Is That Grandma' was a story he read before. The story teller was more interactive then, and he soon participated actively , with my prompting and encouragement,

The whole session lasted for 30 min, and I was glad we managed to sit through. It was definitely a good start. I need to get him more involve in social activities . When asked if he wants to go again , he says Ok . I was happy to hear that.

A Haircut

Today , Son had a haircut. It was surprising that he asked me, " Do I look nice?" It was the first time he asks for an opinion. I am happy that he has taken another step forward.

I can remember that before four, he only had two haircuts in the salon, once when he was a baby and once a toddler. It was torturing both him and me and my other half. He screamed and struggled throughout (because of the sound of the electric razor ??) and we had to hold him real tight to get it done as quickly as possible. Talk about well cut? Forget it ! Just cut away the long hair and that's it! Hokkien we say chin chai can already lah! After that, it was no way we can get him to sit on the salon's chair. We gave up, too. So my mother and I had to use the scissors to cut his hair, which took a longer time to get it done. We had to do it in the bathroom, while he was playing with the running water from the tap. I think the pails of water wasted were enough to pay for a good salon haircut! I tried using the electric razor myself, but didn't know how to make good use of it. My friend, Juliet, who lent it to me, said just cut botak style, it's quite easy. Ya, easier said than done! My other half even 'boasted' that he could do better than me and end up shaving off a patch on Son's head! Boy was I angry! Look what he had done to my precious little handsome boy!

One fine day, when he was about four, my daughter and other half went to this exceptionally cheap salon at Chinatown. I thought why not just ask him if he wanted a haircut. Surprisingly, he hopped onto the chair and had a nice haircut with only a little squirming on and off. The Uncle cutting his hair was a bit slow but very particular and so it took almost a solid 20 minutes. He loved the whole experience and his new look and his 'prickly' hair. I was so glad that finally I could say goodbye to all the hassle of cutting his hair all by myself . Phew!

It's all these little progresses he makes, that makes my day.

Things He Fears Con't

This is a musical doll given by someone few years ago which can make him cry instantly. I tried taking it out recently to 'test' his reaction again. Once he saw it, the corners of his lips immediately drooped down, then tears welled up in his eyes and he started sobbing.



"This is no good !" That is what he always says when he is not happy. He could not explain further why he dislikes this object.

At a very age , he cries when he hears a song which is too "sentimental'. I can still remember he cried when he heard the song " Teddy Bear" . It was a song the playgroup liked to sing and I had to explain to the teacher why he cried when the song was sung. At night, when I sang him a song even like " Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' in a very "loving" and "sentimental" way, he would cry too. Those " ...... I Love You....." kind of song like "Barney Song" have to be sung in a "normal" tone to avoid tears. I guess he must be very "musically inclined" too !

I have asked the teachers in his special class why this is so. They simply say that there are just some unexplainable things that autistic people seem to fear . It is ok and we should not force them to accept because it will upset them more. Anyway , whether they accept or not, if it does not affect others or their own social life , just let it be. I guess it makes sense. So I decide to stop the 'testings'.

Things He Fears

From young, my son seems to fear certain images , which we thought could be somewhat fearful to kids but some we could really find no reason why they should look so scary. I remember he used to love watching advertisements , like most kids. I guess it's because they are fast- moving and colourful. However there were certain advertisements that he found so fearful that he would dart forward and switch off the tv immediately , leaving us all puzzled , facing the blank screen of the tv. Only when the advertisement had ended , would he allow us to continue the program.

Today, he is accepting most advertisements, but when watching the tv, he will still come across certain images that he finds threatening? intimidating? fearful? Sometimes he will switch channels , sometimes he will hold up his arm ,pretend looking at his watch, but actually trying to block his own view! I try asking him why he finds them fearful, but he still cannot explain and express his feelings .

Other things that he fears , that I could think of now, are clowns, pretend Santa Claus in the shopping mall during Christmas, in fact any live pretend characters, even if it is his favourite cartoon character. So we never take him to live shows of cartoon characters in shopping centres, like we used to with our girl.

This is the shirt that upsets him and got him to be half-naked almost the whole day. The other day , when we past by IMM, he suddenly trembled and told me " I have to run past". It was then I realised there was a ride right in front of the lane leading to the carpark. And it was the character of 'Ultraman'. Does Ultraman really look so scary? i guess the eyes could have made him look threatening to my son!

Thank God Chinese New Year is over

Yesterday marked the last day of the fifteen days of Chinese New Year celebration. I'm glad it's over, but it has been quite a good one, compared to the last five years.

Chinese New Year had always been the festival I dreaded the most because I had to take my son for visiting. He could never sit still and forever exploring and touching things around the house of relatives and friends. I had to constantly keep a lookout on him, fearing that he might break anything or get into any kind of trouble. When he had enough of exploring and got bored, he would throw tantrum and want to leave. It was a hard time trying to control him and making sure that no one would look from the corners of their eyes , shake their heads and think to themselves," What a spoilt and no discipline child !"

I could still remember how he pulled down the entire curtain in the living room of my brother's house! And my brother is the kind of impatient man who cannot stand any kind of mischief especially when he is in a bad mood.

This year Son is behaving better, of course it's also because we bought a laptop which he could bring along to play. Computer is the best thing that can make him sit for the whole day. He is also able to join in the fun of playing blackjack with his cousins.

I guess he has improved a lot when it comes to mingling with others, even though he still needs to be prompted when it comes to social and communication skills. I have to be happy over every little of his improvement, He needs to learn at his own pace. There is no use rushing and pushing him, I' ll be the one ending up going crazy and he will never be happy too. He is special and he is very special to me. All I want is him to be happy.

I Don't Love You

My son is a six year old kid who cannot express himself well. Last Friday he was suppose to have a new year celebration in school. It was my mistake to choose a shirt that he does not like. I thought he might change his opinion this time. Boy was i wrong! He started throwing tantrum and would not even wear any shirt when i asked him to choose another one. See how stubborn he can be?! The school bus was almost here and he refused to tell me if he wanted to go to school. I was so angry that I beat him up. I knew I should not have vented my anger on him but the bomb in my head just exploded uncontrollably.
"I don't love you!" he cried out loud. I was too shock for words. I felt a hammer slamming down hard in my heart. Every night , we will say "I love you" to each other before he sleeps, but never has he said " I don't love you" by himself. He must be feeling very upset at that moment to be able to say that. I felt really upset too although ironically I felt happy that he was able to express his feelings.
That day he was half naked and refused to eat until five. I gave him milk in his bottle and left him alone. Minutes later, he came out of his room, and threw up the milk. Then I realised that his refusal to wear a shirt could be due to his illness. ( or could it be starving for too long?). I felt really sorry for what I have done in the morning. That night, when I told him I love him, he told me sickily and wearily that he loves me too. There was a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes.
My son is autistic.

Do you love cakes?

Are you a stay-at-home mum , spending only all your life with your kids? It's a fulfilling but won't make you rich job. Mothers have to find time to destress, get away from kids and do something they like, apart from taking care of their family. Otherwise , there will be an increase number of insane mums!

Baking's my first love because I love art and craft and eating cakes. So the best combination of both is baking beautiful , delicious cakes!

It's the year of tiger and here's a tiger cupcake to wish everyone a happy new year.